Please don’t talk to me, I am beyond exhausted. Why must I go to work today? Trust me, we all face this! Now internally, we might be blooming with friendliness, or perhaps we are nice yet quiet. Either way, being cordial is a fundamental step of success in many ways. Whether you work sales, HR, run the household, or attending school, it is a great value to have. Kindness is more than a simple “Hello” and moving on. It is the beauty and very definition of a happy life.
What makes us approachable?
Sit next to your “Enemy”
This is definitely something that puts us on edge. Sit next to her? That co-worker/student that annoys me 24/7? Yes, I totally get it. Yet if you sit next to someone who tends to cause you grief, they are going to feel more uncomfortable with bothering you. Not only that, but you might actually be able to settle your differences in a smooth way! Try talking to this person with a smile on your face, and see where things go.
Smile, smile, smile my dear friends. A while back I did a post on this one topic. Smiling not only produces white blood cells, lowers stress, and boosts your mood (even with a fake smile!) but it also makes you more trustworthy and approachable. Smile all the time and you will definitely do better at your work and feel happier.
How many people have you seen that could have used a hand? Quite a lot, right? Well, taking away a few minutes of your day you are strengthening yourself by assisting someone else. At one point, a group of us aided in carrying out groceries for people. That both made us feel good, as well as the people we were helping. You might even get lucky to build stronger relations with people. Always give a helping hand!
Like smiling, positive talk – even if you don’t feel upbeat – aids your help and motivation greatly. For instance, you often have two kind of students: those who talk negatively toward their school and selves, and those who do work with a smile. Sure, those college or high school students don’t always like the work, but by telling themselves that they can do it, the workload becomes easier. I’ve experienced this with various students, and the results are phenomenal. Give it a try and talk positively toward everything you face.
“Consistent positive self-talk is unquestionably one of the greatest gifts to one’s subconscious mind” ~ Edmond Mbiaka
Make Eye Contact
One of most fundamental pieces of appearing more cordial is eye contact. Lots of us have the struggle of mumbling and hiding our faces. Even I do, and it takes a lot to look someone straight in the eye and talk with a clear, confident voice. Yet in doing this, you are opening up a new world of approachability. This allows you and the speaker to read one another, communicate via expressions, and feel appreciated. If you find looking at their eyes too difficult, focus on their eyebrows or foreheads. Doing that will make the “eye contact” aspect much easier.
How do I become more cordial?
I promise there are many ways to become more cordial! Here are some things you can do to embrace your inner friendliness:
- Talk to the Mirror: This is actually a great resource for many things – public speaking, clarity of voice, and of course, friendliness. Either have a friend start a discussion beside you in the mirror, or talk to yourself. Keep careful track of your eye contact, eyebrows, and smile. To appear more approachable in this manner, always keep a light smile, perhaps turn your head slightly to the side (as it does make us look more friendly), and don’t scrunch or raise your eyebrows too much. These few details will definitely make your next conversation go a lot smoother.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Mood Chart: Create a chart, or find an app, to track your mood. For your first day, regularly mark your mood without these tips. I recommend writing down your mood upon waking up, at noon, and when you are going to bed. Also feel free to take notes on anything from your day. For the remaining days, follow anything I recommend here – especially the smiling – and compare. I promise you, the other days will be much brighter! Even with your little notes, you will see a clear change in tone of voice. From negativity to positivity, it will be a beautiful change.
- 250 Character Day: This is by far one of my favorite things to do. A while back I had a classic flip phone with a notepad that allowed around 250 characters. This isn’t a lot! Now I put this to use. Every evening I would write down all the good and funny things that happened to me that day. No matter how frustrated or angry I was, I managed to find 250 characters worth of great things. Write down only little phrases or words to describe it. When you are feeling extra negative? Go back and read your past adventures, and trust me, you will get a beautiful smile upon your face. Do this every day!
Until next time my friends,
Ashlee G., Author of Creative Thinking Well
Note: Also, if any of you have specific topics you would like covered, I would be more than willing! I might not be able to give articles on everything you suggest, but I will try my best.